MAGA'S MESSIEST MONDAY YET

Punch-Drunk Pete is about to go through some things

Holy shit, what a weird Holy Week that was, am I right? The devout Fake Christians in the MAGA Cult did a lot of Trumpocrisy over the last seven days, culminating in countless “He Is Risen!” tweets on Sunday juxtaposed with their gleeful celebrations of the wrongful deportation of Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

Proof of drunk: Pete’s lopsided shaved sideburns at the White House Easter Egg Roll, as spotted by many sharp-eyed social media users.

Kegstand is so drunk and egregiously underqualified that he made another Signal chat, this time with his wife and brother, and now he’s probably going to lose his job. That was the main topic of discussion during my weekly Monday morning appearance with our beloved pal Hal Sparks.

I predicted Punch-Drunk Pete will be gone by or before Friday. But hey, what do I know about anything, right?