Because ICE is less popular than head lice, when the abysmal Kristi Noem was leading DHS, she reached into the fascist bag of tricks to solve the agency’s recruitment problem.
Like the last days of the Third Reich, when the elderly were conscripted to defend Berlin, Noem decided that lifting the age cap was the answer. In August 2025, she announced that DHS was “ending the age cap for ICE law enforcement,” employing Dean Cain — 59 years old, former TV Superman, current reserve cop — to help spread the word about the new supposed policy.
“Funny” thing, though… Noem never had the authority to eliminate the age cap. That determination belongs to ICE’s HR department, not the Secretary of Homeland Security. She didn’t bother to find out what the actual policy was, much less do the work required to change it. She just called a press conference, made a promise she had no institutional authority to keep, and went back to the military housing she confiscated, leaving thousands of recruits and an overwhelmed EEO office to deal with the fallout.
Like all the other bullshit Republicans peddle, the age cap was never actually lifted. The result is more than 10,000 equal opportunity complaints and a legal disaster that American taxpayers are now on the hook for. Of course, ICE denies it. Unfortunately, we can trust the words that come out of the mouths of Trump sycophants as much as we can trust the words of Kim Jong Un.
Doug’s Story
PunchUp’s investigation centers on one recruit who agreed to share his story — a 68-year-old retired Ohio cop with 23 years in law enforcement, identified by the pseudonym Doug to protect his identity. His experience is what exposed the entire scam.
Doug applied to ICE on July 30, 2025 and received a tentative job offer that included a base salary of $127,000, a $20,000 annual bonus, and the possibility of reaching $250,000 with overtime and pension. That’s the kind of money Trump’s gestapo has to throw around — keep that in mind the next time you’re on hold with the IRS, Social Security, or the Department of Veterans Affairs.
Doug completed weeks of virtual training through the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center — four to five hours a day, working through a 400-page manual he described as “critical-sensitive” material that, in his words, “in the wrong hands could be used nefariously.”
He was sworn in. His posting shifted from Atlanta to Indianapolis and back. His start date was delayed twice because ICE had too many recruits to process.
Just after midnight on October 20th, he received an email informing him of yet another delay. Four days later, a single paragraph rescinded his employment on the grounds that he did not meet the age requirement. There was no apology, no compensation, and no acknowledgment of the part that Kristi Noem played wasting everyone’s time and money.
Doug has since filed EEO complaints against both ICE and DHS, and is suing for back pay and bonuses exceeding $40,000 — and he’s not the only one.
10,000 Claims and Counting
DHS is now facing more than 10,000 equal employment opportunity complaints stemming from Noem’s fake hiring blitz, as Raw Story reports.
The Republican Party that loudly whines about the cost of Medicaid, school lunches, and Meals on Wheels has once again put taxpayers needlessly on the hook for millions because of ineptitude and laziness. Behind each of those 10,000 complaints is a person who was told by Trump’s maladministration federal government — in writing, with official job offers and sworn oaths — that they had a job.
What Republican Governing Actually Looks Like
This is not an isolated failure. This is the entire governing philosophy. Noem, like Trump, like the Republican Party at large, is too lazy and too indifferent to find out what actual policy is, much less do the work required to operate within legal boundaries.
Their “job” is to say things — to announce, to perform, to generate a headline — and then move on to the next performative scam before anyone notices nothing happened.
The press conference is the policy. The tweet is the legislation. When the consequences inevitably arrive, the grifters responsible are long gone.
Yes, Noem is no longer Secretary of Homeland Security but the 10,000 complainants remain. True to form, she’s still in her government housing though, and refusing to leave.
This is what Republican fiscal responsibility actually looks like — not stewardship, not governance, but an endless parade of grifts dressed up as policy, executed by people who are too parasitic to govern and too shameless to apologize when the damage is done.
Just another example of a party whose rhetoric has never matched with its actual record.
he truth out and save the “Grand Experiment” from the right wing forces currently destroying it.
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