America’s Got Bootlickers!
Kristi Noem goes full gaslighting lickspittle about Trump’s “unprecedented things”
Today’s Republican Party’s is such an utter embarrassment, it’s almost unfathomable to comprehend the amount of bullsh*t they need to shovel to stand themselves.
The U.S., Canada, and Mexico will host the World Cup in 2026. Given the fascist maladministration currently trying to inflict a permanent authoritarian dictatorship on America, this event has “1936 Summer Olympics, Germany” written all over it.
After JD Vance opened the “White House FIFA task force meeting” with a “joke” about deporting the visitors, (because nothing says “welcome to our shining city on a hill” like threatening to eject foreign competitors after they’ve served as props for your photo op), the mandatory 30 minutes of praise for the convicted felon Republican Standard Bearer, AKA: the worst president in history, commenced.
These pathetic Republican circle jerks always leave we patriots in disbelief, asking the universe, “Do Republicans have any dignity? Do they hear themselves?” And the ultimate question: “Do they actually believe their own bullsh*t?”
This week, cosplay Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem was the stand out sycophant, gushing over Donald Trump’s “unprecedented achievements”.
Noem’s speech was a litany of lies so rich, Trump may actually give it the power to fire more veterans.
Watch it here:
Let’s dissect this farce, shall we?
Noem’s Fiction: “Thank you so much for dreaming big dreams and doing unprecedented things your entire life.”
Trump’s Reality: The only thing “unprecedented” about Trump’s career is the scale of his grift.
His “big dreams” include a scam University that bilked $25 million from students lured by false promises of insider real estate secrets.
His “achievements”? A casino empire that cratered into bankruptcy six times, leaving investors holding the bag while he siphoned millions.
How about the multi level-marketing vitamin scam that drained average people of their savings, buying into this “recession-proof business opportunity” endorsed by the supposed “successful businessman” himself.
Here’s a CBS story about it:
The man didn’t “build an empire”—he built a graveyard of failed ventures, tax fraud, a legacy of stiffing contractors and a litany of small time swindles. Dream big, indeed.
Noem’s Fiction: “You have tasked our department, the Department of Homeland Security, with making sure these events are safe and secure.”
Trump’s Reality: Ah yes, the same guy who is weaponizing DHS to terrorize immigrants, separate families, and deploy federal agents to brutalize America.
We all remember when Trump’s “security” priorities included tear-gassing peaceful crowds for a Bible photo-op? Or when his administration gutted anti-corruption safeguards to fast-track visas for wealthy donors? Making the world safe for oligarchy and corruption, not for freedom and democracy.
Noem’s Fiction: “There’s a bonding that happens among people… creating a friendlier world.”
Trump’s Reality: This from the party banning books, criminalizing LGBTQ+ existence, and cheering as Trump calls immigrants “vermin” and “infestation.”
Trump’s idea of “bonding” is mocking disabled reporters, bragging about sexual assault, and labeling women “horse face” or “fat pig.”
His “friendlier world” is one where he fulfills the wish lists of brutal, America-hating dictators while tearing the democratic world apart. So much friendship, the entire world now hates America’s guts.
Noem’s Fiction: “What you see with your eyes, you carry with your heart.”
Trump’s Reality: Let’s test that proverb, shall we? What do we see? A man who harassed elderly tenants in rent-controlled apartments, and has a lifetime of stiffing workers and contractors.
Trump destroyed two huge historic and priceless Art Deco friezes that he promised to preserve because it saved him a buck. That’s what a repugnant POS he is
According to Mother Jones, “The art world was shocked. ‘Architectural sculpture of this quality is rare and would have made definite sense in our collections,’ Ashton Hawkins, the vice president and secretary of the Met’s board of trustees, told the New York Times. Robert Miller, a gallery owner who had agreed to assess the friezes, told the paper that ‘the reliefs are as important as the sculptures on the Rockefeller building. They’ll never be made again.’”
Trump is the malignant narcissist who cheated on all his wives, paid off porn stars, and peddled pyramid schemes (ACN and “The Trump Network”) that preyed on vulnerable families. He is a waste of human DNA who has never contributed a thing of beauty to this world.
Shame on everyone who voted for the biggest loser who declared more losses than every other American taxpayer (according to the tax returns we have. I guess the rest are still “under audit”.)
A “genius” who lost $1 billion in 10 years and told people to inject bleach to “clean out” COVID from their bodies. See that with your dead eyes, Kristi. Carry that in your empty heart.
Another Day In Republican Delusionville
Just another day in the Republican assault on the Grand Experiment in Liberal Democracy. The question remains: Do they believe their own lies?
Listening to them, it feels like we’re all part of an Andy Kaufman-esque performance art piece. I sit there, hoping they'll suddenly turn to the camera and say, "Psyche! We really had you going there!" Unfortunately, they’re not only deadly serious with their lickspittle shtick; they’re literally killing us.
Freud would need a lifetime of therapy himself after unpacking the mess Republicans have made of their minds.
They’ve rewritten Trump’s life of crime (tax fraud, racial housing discrimination, destroying historic art to save a buck on his ugly, tacky towers) into an “inspiring” tale of perseverance. They cloak their fascist smash-and-grab in fake religiosity, quoting the Bible while enabling a man who embodies all seven deadly sins.
Trump’s first 100 days weren’t “historic”—they were a kleptocrat’s shopping spree. He funneled taxpayer money into his properties, installed lackeys to dismantle ethics oversight, and turned the White House into ground zero for the grift and Mar-a-Lago into a money-laundering spy-magnet. And yet, here’s the GOP, licking his boots like he’s Gandhi with a memecoin.
Noem closed her speech by praising Trump’s “big visions for the future.” Sure, if your vision includes more epic corruption, more bottomless cruelty, and America as Putin’s vassal state.
But hey, at least the 2025 World Cup will be a nice distraction! Nothing unites the world like watching a con man’s cult pretend he’s not an unfit cancer in the body politic and an unrepentant traitor.
Welcome to “America’s Got Bootlickers.” The prize? A one-way ticket to autocracy. How much longer are we going to take it, people? How much longer?
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